You’ve heard the saying, “Everybody’s got one and most of them stink!”
When it comes to planning a wedding everyone has an opinion and a strong one at that for how YOU should do your wedding. Some suggestions can be fun and practical, but some can be awkward and ingratiating. I equate the ‘unsolicited’ opinions thrown at me by loved ones, friends and strangers to what pregnant women go through when people feel so compelled to just reach out and touch their belly with complete disregard for how that may make the pregnant mother feel.
For this bride, it’s been . . . interesting (to coin the most diplomatic way to describe). I have some friends whose opinion I value and to whom I may actually seek – who have gone AWOL during this process and then I have friends, and acquaintances who very vehemently feel compelled to tell me emphatically how I should do things – skipping right over the whole suggestion part and just gunning for an unspoken, ‘If you do anything different from this, your wedding will suck’ kind of disgusted attitude.
And then there is the opinion of FAMILY! Yikes! God forbid we should plan this day without consulting Aunt BettySue, twice removed because she helped Susie plan a wedding that was a BIG hit in the 70’s! OR that you as the bride should already have your own ideas about what you want and how to go about it. Suddenly instead of running ideas by your fiancée, you find yourself wasting a lot of time running ideas by several others.
So how does a bride find a happy medium between the two swinging pendulums?
Good question! When you find out – let me know!
I found what worked best for me very early on was to LISTEN to these dissenting opinions. Thank them for those but politely and strongly relay that I was NOT interested or had a different idea in mind. So far, knock on wood, everyone that was pushing their opinions vehemently on me has realized to back off and just enjoy the process from their perspective and not mine.
So here is where I’m going to insert my opinion and you can take it with a grain of salt. The cost of weddings across the country and probably the world is outrageous. I do not personally believe in having a large bridal party – it’s ridiculous to have more than four people max standing up with you on both sides. I have researched a lot of weddings lately and the new younger trend seems to be for the bride to invite in excess of four bridesmaids and groomsmen. [I’ve actually seen in excess of 10 people on each side! That is BEYOND ridiculous!] I understand that things should be balanced, but there is no need for everyone to be in your wedding. It literally looks ridiculous. In pictures the bride and groom do not stand out, instead what does stand out is a large picture with a lot of people.
In addition I don’t believe that the bridesmaids should have to pay one dime for their wedding day attire. I think that is an expense that the bride and groom or whomever is paying for the wedding should pick up. Same for the groomsmen. If you are dictating what these people are wearing in your wedding, then in my humble opinion YOU should be paying for it. I know it bucks tradition. What can I say?
I do think that the bridesmaids should carry the expense of whatever showers or parties they throw for the bride. Same goes for the groomsmen for the groom. It might actually encourage Brides to no longer feel compelled to invite so many bridesmaids to be in their weddings.
Again this is just my two cents, if it’s even worth THAT much!
Here’s hoping this finds your wedding planning going very well!