Fat, Dumb and Happy

When we bought my wedding dress several months ago – it fit like a glove.  It was just a miraculously perfect fit.  Like all other brides, I’ve been scared to death that I’ve put on weight since its purchase, so I combat this by going to the gym as often as I can, but I still worry.

I was feeling really good about the whole gym thing recently so I decided to try on my wedding dress this past Saturday night.  My silent expectation was that it would be so loose that it would need to be altered A LOT and not just in the chest area as we expected (it’s slightly too big there).


The damn thing still fit like a glove – albeit a less tight glove, but a glove none the less.

So why am I disappointed?

I will tell you why!  I’ve been busting my booty at the gym religiously for weeks and although I have noticed my endurance is better and I’ve lost weight – I’ve apparently also been building muscle, which is a great thing, but still . . . *sigh*

Another positive is that it won’t cost as much to have to ONLY alter the bust portion, right?  If it were super loose and had to be altered greatly in the bodice and waist, which would possibly cost a lot. Can you tell I’m really trying to be POSITIVE?

Still.  I know it’s petulant of me, but I really did want one of those, “Holy cow!” moments where I slipped on this beautiful piece of dress art and was ecstatic at how loose it was, but alas, no such luck for me at this stage.  Blame it on the freshman twenty, but we are truly fat, dumb and happy right now and excited about our new life together.

Let the countdown begin . . .

Kenzie and Khloe  [My little girls – Kenzie & Khloe]

As of Aug 3rd we are officially two months out from “D” day – the day I become a Devine!  It’s been a welcome reprieve to NOT have to focus on, think about or plan anything related to the wedding for the past month or so.  Once we secured the photographer, we could take a small break.

It allowed me to concentrate on the end of my summer semester of school, which assisted in me securing one A and one B.  Not bad for an old fart.  I won’t allow myself to get upset about the ‘B’, but suffice it to say I had a particularly difficult time with one of my professors.  I’m lucky he even gave me a ‘B’ due to the fact that I pushed back on him several times and I don’t think he is used to students who bring up logical questions for his curriculum.

I believe all aspects of this wedding planning thing are accounted for.  I have some minor concerns about the music portion, but I’m NOT allowing myself to stress or worry about it.  I trust that it will all work out in the end.  My main goal for this wedding is for Drew and I, our family and friends to have a really great time.  That’s it, well and of course for us to get hitched while having a great time!

Besides Drew’s surprise back surgery and the deficit in our bank account due to that surprise, I think we’ve weathered a number of lesser stresses fairly well.  Right now on our plate is a search for a plumber to replace both toilets, fix the faucet in the MBR and fix a slow leak in both bathroom sinks.  In addition we are also taking bids on Siding, Windows and Gutters and trying to install flooring.  You know, just another day in paradise.

Fall semester starts for both of us on the 17th, which means I will be back in school FULL TIME, working FULL TIME, planning a wedding, taking care of a house and still trying to find time to work out.  Meh – we got THIS! LOL.

We are still trying to figure out what exactly we plan to do on our honeymoon.  We are definitely headed to Orlando, but just unsure if we are going to do the parks the whole time or fit in a cruise in there.  Drew is pulling for the cruise, but I could care less, due to the fact that I’m easily sea sick, car sick or airplane sick.  If we just did the parks and beach the whole time, I would be perfectly happy.

My mom continues to be an incredible asset regarding the wedding.  (I think she’s having more fun than we are if truth be told.)  She and the wedding coordinator, Sarah has been so helpful – that my gratitude knows no bounds.  I literally could not have done any of this without them.

I’m amazed everyday to wake up beside my fiancée.  I know we wouldn’t be where we are without all we have both weathered, but I wish we had met years and years ago.  I’m grateful we found each other now and I’m so excited and proud to be merging my life with his.

The wedding checklist is widdling down.  Venue – check, Caterer – check, Music – check, Photographer – check, Dress – check, BM Dresses – check, MOB Dress – check, Groom, GM, FOB attire – check, Flowers – check, so we are just finalizing the cakes, centerpieces, deco and swag.  I’ve been told repeatedly that stuff will go wrong, so my attitude is such that those folks with experience are probably right and I will just go with the flow.  It helps and is working to keep my anxiety to a minimum.

Try to stay cool out there and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

~ Kat

Engagement Photo Shoot

Who knew that the simple act of arranging our engagement photo shoot would send my anxiety through the roof?

What to wear?

Should we use props?

What location?

Do we incorporate our colors in the shoot?

Should we take the fur mongrels and include them?

My mother has now dubbed herself “Momzilla” in lieu of ‘budget control’.  (You can roll your eyes now with me too!)  So Momzilla, in an effort to keep her and my father’s minds off the HUGE gaping hole in our lives and hearts at the inability to see, speak with or visit my beautiful God Daughters – Momzilla has thrown herself into the whole crazy wedding planning thing.

It started with props.  Yep, you heard me correctly, P R O P S.  Apparently the INTERNET is rife with wedding ideas galore and Momzilla is finding them all!  She has managed to procure a variety of “props” for our engagement photo shoot.  Which is sweet, but when did posing for a few pictures turn into a huge production?

The good news now is that due to the temperatures climbing well into the 100’s this weekend; our photo shoot has been re-scheduled. THANK GOD!  I was NOT looking forward to wrangling the fur mongrels in this heat, or trying to playfully coax my fiancée into relaxing enough to actually have a good shoot.  I’m not worried about me, I’m a natural ham. LOL.

For now the anxiety levels are back in check.  Engagement photo shoot is pushed back and all I’m facing this weekend is the final papers and assignments before finals week starts next week.  I don’t know what I was thinking by scheduling the photo shoot on a weekend where I had a huge paper due in both classes, but you all know me – I’m NOT always the brightest star in the sky.

Here’s hoping you find a safe and fun way to beat the heat this weekend.  I can assure you I will have my nose buried deep in school work and if I get lucky, maybe here and there I will find time for some fun.

Lots of love,


Pre-Marriage Counseling / Discussion . . .

Pre-Marriage Discussion

When we first met our potential officiant I approached the situation very ambivalently.  I am not religious at all.  My fiancée is much more so.  I am spiritual and believe in the presence of a higher being, I choose to call them God, but I do not appreciate organized religion nor the monsters o f judgment, hate and mis-representation that it breeds.  Having said all of that, I was incredibly ambivalent about our wedding officiant.  My only dictate was that the individual performing my wedding ceremony NOT be overly religious sounding.

So when we met an acquaintance of my mother’s for coffee and to see if we would all get along, I was pleasantly surprised by my emotional reaction to him.  He was everything I never realized that I wanted in our wedding officiant.  He was soft spoken; kind eyed and exuded a quiet confidence born from years of prior military service.  He is a good family man and an elder within his church.  He knew immediately that I would not tolerate nor appreciate the hollow recitation of bible scriptures that religious people are oft to quote as a means of trying to elevate themselves above others.

He spoke plainly, intelligently and with just the right amount of religious reverence that my spiritual heart appreciates.  Actions speak louder than words in ANYTHING.  When people act upon their good will and intent, they don’t have to prove anything with words.  The TRUTH will always win out, no matter how hard the lies fight against it. There is real EVIL in this world and it starts with one’s heart, leads to ones intent and manifests itself in ones lies.  Good people know other good people, and our officiant is ‘good people’.

We met this past Saturday evening for a bite of dinner and our first pre-marriage ‘discussion’.  I was a nervous wreck.  My anxiety stemmed from the mindset that because our relationship has been very smooth and easy that some hidden upset would be announced and I would be blindsided.  As it turned out that never happened, thank goodness! We discussed the five love languages and identified what they were for each of us.  (Mine are; physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. My fiancée’s are; words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time and gifts.)

In addition to identifying and discussing these topics we also went through a brief discussion on likes and dislikes.  The bottom line and I would like to think this is a great thing for us, is that we communicate really well.  This was noted and discussed repeatedly.

I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

I suspected that we communicated well with each other; I know I did, but I wasn’t always sure that my fiancée did – he tends to be conflict adverse.  Needless to say, when you harbor an environment where both parties feel safe – communication really isn’t THAT difficult.  Even if the topic is something you know the other party might not want to discuss or might not be happy discussing.

So there you have it.  We passed our first pre-marriage counseling/discussion with flying colors.  I am actually looking forward to our next.  Stay tuned.

Now we begin sending the invitations.  Holy cricket bat-man – this is really happening!

Unsolicited Opinions . . .

You’ve heard the saying, “Everybody’s got one and most of them stink!”

When it comes to planning a wedding everyone has an opinion and a strong one at that for how YOU should do your wedding.  Some suggestions can be fun and practical, but some can be awkward and ingratiating.  I equate the ‘unsolicited’ opinions thrown at me by loved ones, friends and strangers to what pregnant women go through when people feel so compelled to just reach out and touch their belly with complete disregard for how that may make the pregnant mother feel.

For this bride, it’s been  . . . interesting (to coin the most diplomatic way to describe).  I have some friends whose opinion I value and to whom I may actually seek – who have gone AWOL during this process and then I have friends, and acquaintances who very vehemently feel compelled to tell me emphatically how I should do things – skipping right over the whole suggestion part and just gunning for an unspoken, ‘If you do anything different from this, your wedding will suck’ kind of disgusted attitude.

And then there is the opinion of FAMILY! Yikes!  God forbid we should plan this day without consulting Aunt BettySue, twice removed because she helped Susie plan a wedding that was a BIG hit in the 70’s!  OR that you as the bride should already have your own ideas about what you want and how to go about it.  Suddenly instead of running ideas by your fiancée, you find yourself wasting a lot of time running ideas by several others.

So how does a bride find a happy medium between the two swinging pendulums?

Good question!  When you find out – let me know!


I found what worked best for me very early on was to LISTEN to these dissenting opinions.  Thank them for those but politely and strongly relay that I was NOT interested or had a different idea in mind.  So far, knock on wood, everyone that was pushing their opinions vehemently on me has realized to back off and just enjoy the process from their perspective and not mine.

So here is where I’m going to insert my opinion and you can take it with a grain of salt.  The cost of weddings across the country and probably the world is outrageous.  I do not personally believe in having a large bridal party – it’s ridiculous to have more than four people max standing up with you on both sides.  I have researched a lot of weddings lately and the new younger trend seems to be for the bride to invite in excess of four bridesmaids and groomsmen.  [I’ve actually seen in excess of 10 people on each side!  That is BEYOND ridiculous!]  I understand that things should be balanced, but there is no need for everyone to be in your wedding.  It literally looks ridiculous. In pictures the bride and groom do not stand out, instead what does stand out is a large picture with a lot of people.

In addition I don’t believe that the bridesmaids should have to pay one dime for their wedding day attire.  I think that is an expense that the bride and groom or whomever is paying for the wedding should pick up.  Same for the groomsmen.  If you are dictating what these people are wearing in your wedding, then in my humble opinion YOU should be paying for it.  I know it bucks tradition.  What can I say?

I do think that the bridesmaids should carry the expense of whatever showers or parties they throw for the bride.  Same goes for the groomsmen for the groom.  It might actually encourage Brides to no longer feel compelled to invite so many bridesmaids to be in their weddings.

Again this is just my two cents, if it’s even worth THAT much!

Here’s hoping this finds your wedding planning going very well!


Wedding Stress

It’s not a myth. It really does exist.  It can be found in any bride and varies upon age, personality, experiences, hydration levels, diet and exercise.

I have worked very hard to keep mine in check.

However, it has crept up on more than one occasion to say the least.

The first melt down happened fairly early on while talking to my mother on the phone during my lunch hour while I ran to the post office.  I remember her telling me something about family members wanting to know the date of the wedding so they could make sure they would be able to make it and I went from zero to bitch in about two seconds and started screaming at the world in general,

“Why couldn’t these people just effing wait for the effing ‘Save The Date’ cards!”

I have to give my mother a lot of credit.  Instead of escalating herself and making the situation even worse, she calmly told me to breathe, that everything was going to be ok and that family just wanted to celebrate the big day with us.  She assured me that we weren’t behind in sending the cards out and that I was allowing that thought to fuel my crazy.

It worked.  I breathed.  I calmed down.  I ashamedly realized how ridiculous I was being.

Then it hit me – I was causing myself more stress by imposing outlandish expectations on others (my fiancée was printing our cards for FREE when he got a free moment) and even more so on myself (I wanted them in the mail and I wanted it done yesterday!)  In addition to that we had regular everyday stressors with work and home and then boom! We got hit with a sudden diagnosis for Drew to have back surgery.

Needless to say, the ‘Save The Date’ cards didn’t go out until weeks later; but they were still sent within the timeline parameters that conventional wedding planning guidelines suggest.

The earth didn’t stop spinning.  I didn’t die because the cards didn’t go out when “I” thought they should go out.  Nobody had an apoplectic fit and foamed at the mouth.

All is well that ends well.

So, my point to all of that – is – YOU and ONLY YOU can stay unfazed by wedding stress.  No matter what timeline you give yourself to plan your wedding, get organized and be realistic and know that things will go awry.  Deadlines will be breached, but in the end, you are still going to marry the love of your life and your day is still going to be a wonderful celebration of that.

Hope that’s helpful.